If this isn't you, you definitely know someone who lives in a state of chaos, drama, and misery.
Many of us wonder why people live like that and how long will they stay there. Let's break down why people would want to attach themselves to this mindset and lifestyle in the first place. Being unhappy and miserable is a way to get your unmet needs met. This is basically telling us that, sometimes being miserable pays off. We get sympathy and attention. We get community (misery loves company , right?) We get the things that we need without ever really having to ask for it. We get people who want to come and save us We get to have many of our needs met without ever having to be vulnerable. Yes, addiction to happiness can simply stem from a protective mechanism that says, I don't feel like my needs will be met, so if I live in misery... company will find me, and someone will make me feel wanted, loved, and accepted. We all know what it feels like to be rejected. It can be so painful. Whether is was actual rejection (kids not picking you to play at school) or perceived rejection (a parent leaving and passing away), it can be so hard to open ourselves back up to connection. This is why wearing the armor of misery can be empowering. The Armor of Misery says: "You can't make me anymore miserable than I already am." "I can't be hurt if I'm hurting all of the time. I can only hurt if I'm vulnerable." "No one will ever accept me for who I am, so I might as well stay kicked down." Most people have gotten so disconnected to their real reason of choosing this mindset, that they just live here sometimes enjoying the gifts (community, attention, needs being met, etc...) and wishing that they would actually experience happiness. If this is you, I want you to know that there are people on the extreme opposite of this as well. Always living in a perpetual state of happiness, that they never really get to feel how unhappy they are, and they get lost inside of that identity. What I'm really here is to talk about the addiction part of this. Happiness and unhappiness are neither good nor bad. They are experiences that we as humans have been blessed to have. They give each other deeper meaning. Happiness and unhappiness both are the source to wisdom and self-awareness. They are the keys to community consciousness and self. The danger of this comes in when you realize that you have sucked yourself so deeply into the cycle of unhappiness, that you can't escape it. Your words and actions still align with misery, while your soul is crying out to be saved. No different than an addict who continues to drink, smoke, eat, even though they know on the inside this isn't the life that they want anymore. Addiction to misery is a real thing. It's an entire identity. It's not impossible to overcome. There is space for you to bring BALANCE into your life. This doesn't mean a complete removal of sadness and pain. It means not taking the pain so seriously that you live your entire life from that place. Learning how to let the pain be your teacher rather than your master. If you identify with this or know someone who does. Seek support in finding tools that can help you overcome this way of living. Sign up with me for my ego and shadow work class to work on these processes with the support of me, your shamanic surgeron and sister in spirit.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorA mother. A Shaman. A Life Coach. My passion is to inspire the healing energy inside of you to grow and thrive. May you know that you are loved. Archives
October 2023
Categories |